"Criticizing others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves." --From a letter to our local newspaper

"Microsoft is a praying mantis: It eats its partners while it's having sex with them." --Nicholas Petreley

"Hitting is learned behavior."

"People opposed to drinking are often former alcoholics, but most people who are against legalizing marijuana have never tried it."

"There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you." --George Carlin, on Politically Incorrect

"If AIDS is god's way of punishing homosexuals, then by the same logic E. Coli must be god's way of punishing people who eat meat."

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." --Stephen Roberts

"It's not so much that people are stupid, but many don't take the time to think things through." --Lionel, talk show host on WABC Talk Radio

"Atheism is a non-prophet organization." --Unknown

"Good composers borrow, great composers steal." --Igor Stravinsky

"Spirituality is simply a human emotion. And like all emotions it is entirely within one's own mind."

"God is Santa Claus for adults."

"Common etiquette says not to talk about politics, sex, religion, or money. But these are the only things interesting enough to discuss!"

"Cleanliness is next to impossible." --Anon.

"Faith is a poor substitute for logic and reason."

"Beauty fades, dumb is forever." --Judge Judy

"Trying is the first step toward failure." --Homer Simpson

"If 'The Devil made me do it' is not a valid defense in a court of law, then insurance companies shouldn't be able to weasel out of a claim caused by an 'Act of God'."